Outwards

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how's your week started?

Today I started to fast again finally. I had the group today too, and then I stopped by market to get few items we were missing. My mind is all over the place but alhamdulillah. Have to stay patient, that will help in sha Allah.

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I am not sure have I been able to do the most this Ramadan. But if I compare this to last year's, it's going 100 percent better, alhamdulillah. I feel like this year it's more about just the fasting itself. I know I know, before you tell me that it isn't so much about it, but everything else too, I know. I just feel like every year it's a different challenge, you know, and this year is about the physical side. 

I make du'aas, I pray of course, I am having deep and meaningful talks to Allah. But also, my outward life had to have some changes too, so here I am, learning new, good habits and enjoying my sober life, alhamdulillah. One year ago I was in a pothole, literally, had wrong kind of company and went back to my old ways which I thought I wouldn't never do again. 

Then, one year has passed, and in the mean time I have silently quit everything finally, and I have good company and environment, and supportive husband on my side. No matter how it seems, I've learned in these past few years that never say never, you might fall if you don't stay firm on the straight path. But also, don't ever think things can't get better again because everything can change to your favor if you just rely on Allah swt. And work for it, as much as you can, too.

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So if my job is now fasting, so be it. I'm happy I have been able to go to the gym too, although I see that my energy is much lower as my strength is too. But I have managed to keep up with my routine. I also have quit drinking coffee, and I'm making changes to my diet. I want to lose some weight and be generally more stronger and healthier. In sha Allah, this will take time though.

But it feels good already :) 

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We are close to the start of the last ten days of Ramadan. This is the time to really focus on the du'aas and asking for forgiveness. There's still time to do good deeds and charity, so as a reminder to myself too, now is the time to show up and be there for our sisters and brothers who need us. Everyone can make du'aa, at least. Also if you can, choose charities you can donate to. Help your neighbor, take good care of your family. I love how islam is so wholesome religion, even a smile to a stranger is considered charity and a good deed. Or cooking for your family, even the most annoying home chores are actually a way of worship if you put your heart and mind into it. Alhamdulillah.

But yeah so I hope you are doing well. It's asr time here so I gotta go. Until next time,

Aisha