Cup of tea with Aisha

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh all :) How are u? It's been some days.. I've been thinking to write many times, but I kinda.. I dunno. I have took some more time here on the mountain and also, I haven't been alone (!). ... I'm really, really, really happy :) alhamdulillah. Say Allaahumma barik! I'm living now with my tech support, haha. It's been great to just spend time together. He is a gentleman and taking good care of me, alhamdulillah. I know I've been married already before now couple times, so that's why I wanted to keep this to myself. But if I failed before, everything has a reason behind. I feel now that things have went in a good, slow steady pace and just generally in right way . I feel like I'm in a real marriage now for the first time. Not going to get into the details but just generally I am so happy and feel very content and appreciative, alhamdulillah. :) ... So yes, things happening and life moving forward.. I have al

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh :) How are you? It's been a bit cold! I love it. I love summer too but it feels good to wear warm clothes and snuggle up under a blanket. In sha Allah. :)  Today I went to take my medicine at the hospital. I should be able to go to a clinic instead of the hospital, which is further away. The groups are all full, so hospital it is then. It's ok.. the nurses are really nice. They also provide coffee, tea and some snacks. It feels nice as a patient that they have put thought and effort to make people feel as comfortable as possible. This kind of medicine requires a three hour monitoring, so yeah, we all spend there some time. I managed to drink three cups of coffee which was a mistake, but alhamdulillah. Calmed down now ::) ... I started to watch a program called Kirjolla, this is season two. It's a reality about four people who are on the spectrum of autism. I'm always interested about people who are different in some way, as

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dear readers :) How are u doing? I have drank so many cups of tea today, but of course I had to make one for taking this little time with you.  I'm still living here on my mountain, with my turtle who is still sleeping well, alhamdulillah. This weekend I have been cooking nice food, went to jewelry store and walked in an eerie autumnal forest. Did also some good ol' chores because I love the sound of a washing machine, combined to dishwasher songs. Alhamdulillah. It's been a really good weekend so far.     ... About haircare, I think I mentioned some time ago that I've kinda started a hair journey to find out do I have actually wavy hair or what am I supposed to do with this dry and tired hair. I been doing the curly girl method for few months now, but my steps are not complete yet. I think I need a diffuser because the wave pattern seems to be very easily broken, I mean like if I put my hair to dry in a turban (one of those microfiber t

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah everyone :) how's your weekend? Alhamdulillah. Today I just went to market and cooked some tex mex. I feel better again and alhamdulillah most of the anxiety is gone. This is a regular pattern but I am happy to have now tools to deal with it, thanks to the group I attended. That group finished and boxing continues, maybe I will have some individual meetings with the physiotherapist or start in another group in sha Allah.  ... Only I feel like I have gone further from Allah swt. I maybe have had before more intense connection. I have always this feeling that when I am happy, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this happiness? I'm so used to struggle that easier times are still a bit strange for me. And I also think too much. And am alone too much ':) The rest of the year looks promising though, alhamdulillah. But I need to fix my relationship with Allah swt. I have to find a way to stay connected better. I think of Him and I do

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmaullahi wa barakatuh everyone. How's your day? I have been feeling very sad lately. But I managed to do a few things today, like taking some old stuff to garbage and storage. I slept late and have mostly just been thinking about things. ... I know very well what's this about. It's past, past things which make me feel so tired and somewhat shattered inside too. It's time and energy consuming too. So when this mode is activated, lol, I will just feel very sad and shed a little tear every now and then. I don't really want to get too much into this topic because it's very personal and my bad experiences are nobody's feed. Also what makes me sad, is to see that I am always alone with my difficult emotions. I have no one to really turn to, when I need help. Some don't care, some don't want to help and, well, for some I don't want to tell and spoil their day even though I know they would care. So I just let tears run down my fac

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah all :) weekend time, yay :) Alhamdulillah. Today has been one of these nice days.. I didn't do so much but I did some nice things. Like cleaned the home and baked some cinnamon rolls :) I was thinking about my grandma, she taught me how to make some korvapuusti. Last time I have made them was with her, so this was the first attempt to make them myself. Grandma made better, but they turned out good still :)      ... I have been in the two groups for a couple of weeks now and it feels good. I'm really happy that finally I'm actually getting some real help. Taking medicine is one thing, but it won't get you far if you don't have other support. So far I've gotten good tips from the anxiety relief group, and the boxing is just great, I love it. And the teacher said she likes my style :) So I get really good experiences and the atmosphere in both groups is accepting. No one is there to judge others. I still find it hard to take contact