Piece of mind

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 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :) how are u?


I've had a nice day alhamdulillah. I went to pharmacy and grocery shopping. After, I also cleaned my turtle's enclosure which was a handful but I feel so much better now knowing his den is now clean and nice. He seems happy too.


...


So the piece of mind.. the little piece I'm not always sure is it on my side or against me. I think it's called fear. Fear for changes. Fear to let go. Something like that. The something in me and you which tries to hold on, cancel, do everything in it's power to stop going out of our comfort zone. Or then an actual fear.

Fear of past events happening again. Fear that this world is going to it's destruction and can't be stopped.

Fear of being vulnerable. Fear of false assumptions. Fear of losing something that matters.

I strongly believe we are created as a perfect manner, God doesn't make mistakes, subhan Allah. Any feeling we have, is part of being a human. Fear is one of the most difficult, one of the least liked. 

Fear feels chaotic. It's preparing for the worst, to become brave again at the time needed.


...


As an anxious person, fear is the engine which keeps anxiety running. 

Today I was kinda busy, so I forgot to be anxious. I was on a mission. And I was feeling happy, alhamdulillah. The same source that gives me fear, gives me happiness. I know what it is, but I don't say it yet..


.. and I'm learning to stay, on the right place at the right time, which is always now. It's so easy to worry about the past or future and then I end up worrying all the time, about the time I am not even living. What a mistake. Don't want to do that so I must learn, in sha Allah.


That's why I write like this today. More of a flow, I want to be hands-free.

I want Palestine, Congo, and Sudan to be free.


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I've spent a lot of time alone in my life. I guess if you have no one to lean on to, you can't afford to be afraid. I have managed through the most difficult times of my youth by myself. Maybe that's why now, grown and, having a good friend circle, I start to feel more again. May it be fear then.

I am sometimes terrified.


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Well, anyways, it has been a good day. Alhamdulillah. It's not really promised to anyone so rather enjoy it and do good, in sha Allah. And smile won't hurt either :)

And, as a reminder to myself as to you dear readers as well - ittaqullaah. ♥



Aisha



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