Jummah Mubarak

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah all :) weekend time, yay :)

Alhamdulillah. Today has been one of these nice days.. I didn't do so much but I did some nice things. Like cleaned the home and baked some cinnamon rolls :) I was thinking about my grandma, she taught me how to make some korvapuusti. Last time I have made them was with her, so this was the first attempt to make them myself. Grandma made better, but they turned out good still :) 

 

 

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I have been in the two groups for a couple of weeks now and it feels good. I'm really happy that finally I'm actually getting some real help. Taking medicine is one thing, but it won't get you far if you don't have other support. So far I've gotten good tips from the anxiety relief group, and the boxing is just great, I love it. And the teacher said she likes my style :) So I get really good experiences and the atmosphere in both groups is accepting. No one is there to judge others. I still find it hard to take contact to others in the group, but in sha Allah it will become easier through time. 

I've had social anxiety as long as I can remember. It's not that I'm not social, I've just had bad experiences. Generally I get the feel that people don't like me. One time I asked my ex, years ago, that could he tell me what's wrong with me. I asked him because he knew me very well that time. And he said, most people wear masks all the time, and I'm being real me always, so it might intimidate them. I don't know if it's true or not. But it makes sense that if a person knows nothing about me and resents me, it's not really about something wrong with me, rather it's their own issues. And sometimes chemistry is not right, it happens too. Part of struggling with this condition is explaining patiently to myself that it's not that deep. 

In islam, we know that sins are being erased with good deeds. Similarly, I feel that good experiences erase bad experiences. Mostly it's about building up confidence and focusing on the moment. It's just so wrong it's so much easier to be said than done... But this is a struggle Allah swt has given to me, and in sha Allah something good will come out of it. But yeah, making good, new memories and have positive experiences is really important.

And I am still very happy, alhamdulillah. :)

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So, things are going kinda easy right now, please say ma sha Allah, don't be a sour dough.. I hope you all can be happy too. I have had to lock myself up in the mountain to be able to feel better, and it has worked well, alhamdulillah. I want to still remind myself and you, that so many people struggle still and the world keeps getting crazier, so at least we can pray for others who are struggling the most. It's just about balancing your own mental health while doing what you can do. Focusing on good deeds, for example doing one good deed per day, is a good way to participate. 

Now it's time to make a cup of tea and have a nice talk in sha Allah. So until next time,

Aisha