Packing up

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi all :) how are u?

My husband playfully asked am I gonna write one 'new blog post' and I replied not before the move, but then I regretted and felt like of course I wanna come to chat with you before I pack my laptop, so here we are :) So yeah, today I just went to market and then been packing.. doing some laundry too etc, cleaning and so on. Alhamdulillah. Mostly everything is ready, it's just the everyday things that has to be then packed at the last moment. 

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Packing up and not letting down. Alhamdulillah.. I've been thinking about my past, specifically these last few years, and there has been so many disappointments by people I thought are my loved ones. I've been let down and lied to, and played like a fool. I've cried countless times and felt bad and unwanted.. sleepless nights or uneasy dreams. That's why I'm so grateful that I have finally found my calm in a person who is honest and reliable, ma sha Allah. Love will maybe always remain a mystery, not that I wouldn't feel it as a giver or the receiving end, but it just.. is something that is so delicate and in small, brief moments, which paint the big picture. You can't catch love but love can totally embrace you. Somebody who really loves you, can't keep on hurting you or leave you by yourself. Love will draw you together as a family, either you born into it or not, or it's just you two. Now I'm here learning how real love feels. So far I know it's safe, effortless, natural. It's a blessing of Allah swt, one day it just happens like it is the most ordinary, simple thing and same time if will shake your world so that you'll even have to shed a tiny tear. What you asked became true, alhamdulillah. 

I know that what I asked did. And did well ♡ It maybe took some time but now we are here. And I feel like we have so much ahead, in sha Allah. We can now start the first chapter on our lives, this last six months has been just a prelude. 

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I know I might have said these things before, and I know I've had my take on long relationships. But I've always made my best effort. What has always comforted me, is that everything is Qadr of Allah swt. We are always there where we are supposed to be in life. It doesn't mean that we have to suffer in a situation, but that the bad days pass at one point. It's good to reach for one's dreams, whatever it may be. I've always done my best at the moment, and then left if nothing changes and I'm always unhappy. I am still learning to love myself but I've always known what's right and wrong, and I haven't been able to stand injustice. So in some situations, it has been about leaving, and in some it's staying. I've decided that I will stay in this marriage. I am willing to be with this person the rest of my life, and in sha Allah we meet in Jannah. 

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Rather than you let someone down, let go. Don't ever be the person someone cries in sujood about. Just pray for their happiness. Life really is short and we have the opportunity to make the best out of it. 

I hope you all are fine and well. Until next week (and new place!),

Aisha