Wool socks and a cardigan

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how's your week going?

I'll mark today, 20th of August, as the head start to autumn. I know, we still have sunshine and warmth, but there is a cool tone in the wind which never lies. I wore today wool socks and a cardigan for the first time. Took a blanket from the closet and a clean sheet. Hoovered the house. A clean slate.

...

Part of me hopes now that I don't get selected into the school. I feel it's a lot, and maybe I can't manage. But, this might be a temporary thought, so I don't give up just yet. Of course it feels so much easier to let go of the thought and "free" myself from the burden of anxiety, which the new possible situation brings. But there's room for growth too and I think I would actually enjoy the school. In sha Allah. What happens, will be for the best. I will hear about the next phase on 29th this month. 

...

I've drank a lot of tea and soon gonna make some talbina too. I went to a blood test last week, and the results are better now, alhamdulillah. I've managed to get better results due to my diet: I don't eat dairy products (except sometimes cheese), I drink only green and herbal tea, and I've had the talbina on most evenings. Other than that, I prepare regular home-cooked meals, mostly Ghanaian recipes. I also made some veggie soup the other day and realized how much I've craved for vegetarian food. Soup is so easy to make so I will start to make them more often, I'm not really a fan of the idea to cook different meals for us but a kettle of soup comes quick on the side while cooking something else. 

I also do eat treats (why this sounds like I eat cat treats..?), or let's say I do treat myself with something delicious often, I'm used to eat something sweet daily. But I try to make the better choices, so usually it's bowl of talbina, and a shared mango with hubby later in the evening. I feel like after almost a year, I'm still recovering from nicotine, and I do feel the urge to eat mints daily to keep my cool, but I know that that addiction is all in my head. Sugar is addictive but not that addictive. 

And I drink tea, and am patient.

...

I also decided that everyone has a hobby, and they spend money on it, so I can buy clothes if I want to. Mainly it is, if I afford to. And, I buy mainly second hand. I have still kept a list of every item I buy, and it just seems like I find something nice every month. I'm still not buying anything impulsively, I do consider what I purchase.

Today I found an Eid dress from Vinted, in sha Allah it will be right size (I know it's not the time yet at all.. but I will need a new Eid dress so I saw my chance). I also found two pretty bangles, I've actually seen the same ones in one second hand shop and didn't buy then. They are beautiful, black and white with gold.

...

When something ends, a new beginning sparks. I have still so much work to do on myself, to become more free and confident and a better me. The main challenge is now to start to look things and events as opportunities instead of something overwhelming. 

To be continued.. 

Aisha