Dear readers
I did plan to start writing again, but little did I know that I would have to write about so terrible news. I just posted in Insta and my FB page that I will be back soon and I thanked especially my readers from Singapore, Hong Kong and Mexico, as what I have seen in the statistic, you guys have been very actively reading still during this break.
But yesterday, later that evening, I saw in the news that there has been a devastating fire in Hong Kong, in Tai Po district. The events leading to the fire seem to be still unclear. So far there's 55 dead and hundreds missing. I am so sorry to hear about this, and I hope my dear readers are alright. May Allah swt help the families to find each other.
I have been figuring things out, and been on this mountain again. I'm not sure if I am learning anything at all, but I try to actively stay in the moment and not worry too much about past or future. I think many people in my life don't actually understand always that I have this illness what I have, and even though I might seem kinda 'normal', I have to battle with the symptoms every day. It takes a lot of my energy. Of course I am in a process to help myself to cope with it all, like I have been doing for a long time. But it's probably a life long process I need to go through, with no clear answers or outcome.
But what are the things that I do to make my days simpler?
- I practice being in this moment
- I keep a gratitude journal
- Healthy diet with treats included
- Positive affirmations
- Finding happiness within
I hold on to a daily routine. I take care of myself. I am merciful towards myself. Nothing has to happen right now, and I don't need to be a better me. Before I used to think that I want to become always better and better, but actually it will never happen that way. It just brings more pressure to suddenly be something I'm currently not. Or maybe will not ever be. I changed my point of view, and now I just want to be me, as I am. Because after all I already am the person I have wanted to become anyways.
It feels good to just let everything be.
...
We got a nice moment of sunshine, the sea looks blue, and I can see the city on the other side. Mostly these days it has been very foggy and grey. Remember to take your vitamins! This time of the year can be so tiring.
I've been wondering should I change the way I blog. This is mostly like a diary, I was thinking maybe it's not that interesting. I was thinking that maybe I repeat myself too much. But I guess what this blog actually is, is a story about a woman, living in this constantly changing world, with her mental illness, navigating through life and changes in it. It's a story about getting by, and sometimes celebrating small wins. A story about a muslimah, her sleeping husband and tortoise. Kitchen table and a cup of green tea.
It's not for everyone, but you have shown me that I am being heard, and maybe I have been able to give some peer support along the way too, in sha Allah.
...
I feel sad about the news, and not to forget our sisters and brothers in Gaza, Sudan, Congo.. I genuinely don't know what to do, so duaa, donations, and boycott it is. I try to be part of the solution instead of the problem, and I urge you all to do so too.
In sha Allah one day this all will make sense.
Until next time dears,
Aisha
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