More treats

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :) how have you been?

I read the news every day, and I wonder what to say anymore.. I just hope you all are safe. 

Monday we had a glimpse of sunshine, Tuesday I met a new friend, alhamdulillah, and today I did some grocery shopping. No work yet. Next month I will start in another anxiety tackling group, in sha Allah I will learn something new there. Days pass by steadily (but how it is still January??). I feel stronger sometimes, and sometimes I don't care. But I take it as positive growth. Not every battle is mine, or it's not the time for it. 

 

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I also got my makeup package today. From France 👒, Avril cosmetics. I ordered mascara, refillable lip balm and a lip oil. I normally buy the mascara from some Finnish online shop, like House of Organic, but the brown shade I'm using was sold out everywhere. So I went to Avril's site and found the lip oil too which I was looking for before.

The mascara is my favorite for many years now. It works as it is supposed to, stays on, doesn't crumble. I like to use the high definition one, I like the thinner brush better than the volume one. I get defined, long lashes with this, and the brown shade is softer and more fitting for me than black. 10/10

I tried their lip balm the first time. It contains shea butter, jojoba wax and organic castor oil, and feels very nourishing. I tend to have so chapped lips year round, and only thing that helps is shea butter. I use it at home but a lip balm stick is better when on the go. 10/10

And finally, their lip oil ♥ I love it. It's also my first time to try their one, and I'm so happy I found an alternative to the one I was using before (which is on the boycott list). I got mine in shade "Rose caresse", it's a beautiful, soft, bit of a brown shade pink. It is not sticky, or feel too oily. I tested it with what-else-than a cup of tea, and it passed the test. Of course it doesn't stay on for so long time, but my lips feel still moisturized after some time. 10/10

I'm happy to have more natural products in my makeup bag. I think they are more harmless, and also contain more (safer) active ingredients. No hormone interruptors or extra chemicals. I like Avril because their products are also quite affordable. Only minus was the shipping fee, it was a bit too high in my opinion. But I will surely order again, and straight from the site. They have of course all the products there, and the prices are slightly cheaper than in the Finnish shops (which probably have the delivery fees in the price etc). 

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I have been thinking these days my imaan a lot. I confess that I have made du'aas that I would learn through positive rather than negative, and I think I'm in the middle of that. Normally, I think we all can relate, that in the times of distress and pain we tend to be more sincere in our ibaadah. Our hearts are cleansed with our repenting and tears, and maybe we even feel close to Allah swt. 

But also, when things are going good and we have the easier times, it might be that we are in the middle of a test too. Will we be grateful? Will we share from what is ours? Will we remember to worship and make the extra deeds we are so willing to do during the tougher times? 

I also tend to be so worried and anxious that I forget to enjoy of all the good things. I don't mean to be a negative person, I actually see myself quite optimistic and positive, but I don't know am I that in reality. Only I've tried to reflect on this: what is my lesson to learn?

What I want to say to myself, now and all this year, is live a little. I want to have new experiences, go to places, enjoy all the halal things and feel the breeze and rain on my face.

During the multiple times in my life when I have been on the bottom of the ocean, I have learned to find contentment and happiness in simple things. They are the best, aren't they? :) So I am easily happy with what I have. My problems are more of a social kind: I'm not good at getting to know people, and I get anxious in crowds. Also often I feel like I'm not accepted or liked. And my life is not perfect, there's so many things I could stress about. Somehow I've also learnt how to let go, and that I am still practicing to this day. Like as believers we should also leave the matters that doesn't concern us. And I always try to leave everything to Allah swt. It's not always easy, but practicing helps.

So while I write this, I start to feel like maybe it could finally be the time and year for me to learn to fully embrace myself, love myself, and be confident in what I do. To respect Allah swt by giving the value His creation needs, including this silly goose of me.

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Ramadan is also coming soon, in sha Allah. We really need it ☝❤ Month of a detox from this dunya. Hopefully it will ease each of our lives for a second. Remember to fast your missed fasts from last year! I have still three left. 

In sha Allah we all will be able to participate in the way that strenghtens our imaan. 

Thank you for reading, until next time again,

Aisha