Waiting for the end

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears, near and far. How are u?

Today we woke up to the news of Israel and USA attacking Iran. Also Pakistan attacked to Afghanistan. This makes me so sad that on Ramadan there's all these conflicts going on. In Palestine, Syria, Lebanon, Sudan.. I don't know even what to say. I don't support any kind of oppression, and war is never an answer. It's oil and power, possibly lands which they want. Control of the Middle East. I really don't have words. Like USA, isn't there your own nation to take care of, than putting all tax payer money to wage another war? And Trump wanted the peace prize.. I just can't believe how we let all this happen. They have made us passive with their capitalism, and they have been fueling racism, so we would be distracted from all of their wicked plans. I do believe we are closer to the end of times.

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I get so overwhelmed if I think of the world and even Finland's politics (which is also getting more worse every time), so I need to take my time with you, dear readers, and chat about today and other lighter subjects. While we wait the world to come to it's end, well, umm, how's your Ramadan going? I hope you are doing well ♡ My fasting is on a pause right now, and I feel like I'm not so connected to the Ramadan spirit. I know I could do better, I could do more dhikr and du'aa, and also to donate in charity because that's very much needed now. In sha Allah I will catch up with these. 

I have fallen in love with African Qur'an reciting. I'm not sure of the right term, is it originally Sudanese style/method? I don't know how to call it (my hubby called it 'local', which I thought was so cute :) ), but if you know, you know. I found this one reciter, Abdulmuhmen Okin, who recites so beautifully, and I find the recitation so encouraging. Ma sha Allah. I recommend to try and listen :) 

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My chores for today included going to the market. I had to use my glasses, because my other eye is a bit sore. First time out with glasses! I mean, since I was a kid. It went quite ok. The market was packed with people. I got some candy too, then at home ate them all and now I barely can drink my tea because I overdosed with the sweetness earlier, and even some oat milk in the tea feels too much. Sometimes I don't know how to stop. Even now I still make another cup of tea.

Before Ramadan started, I had been for a while on a diet. Not so strict, but stricter than without. My main problem is the sugar, I want to eat something sugary every day. I've tried to come up with healthier options. This is something I still struggle with. Also as a part of my diet, I quit eating dairy. Sometimes I buy some cheese if I really want to, and sometimes I buy greek yoghurt. But most of the time, no dairy at all. Also I hardly eat bread, I only eat these rye crisps with hummus and maybe a vegan salami on top. But, now on Ramadan I have allowed myself to loosen up a bit and eat more freely at iftaar and the evening. Mainly it has meant bread and oat milk (I haven't really had even that). But, now that I've been able to eat again daytime after fasting a week, I feel like I'm so ready to fast again. It's a good routine and helps with the cravings.

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I have so mixed feelings. I am still overwhelmed by the war news, on top of the existing wars.. I wish I could do more. I remember, long time ago, when I was a new muslim and we had some sister's nights at the local mosque, and we played this game. Everybody sat in a big circle and the sisters who organized the event were handing everyone in the circle a piece of paper, which had a question in it. There were different ones, like "how does chocolate taste?". And then it was my turn. My question was, "if you could change anything in the world, what would you change?", and I was thinking there is so much to change, what would I say. But ma sha Allah, this pure, baby muslim me answered "I believe Allah has a plan", and that makes me happy 'til this day. Those were beautiful times. I wish to have that same imaan still.. 

.. and it's true. Allah swt has a plan, and He is the best of planners. We have to remember that this life is not the eternal one, we will all die sooner or later. It's important to focus in this moment, and reflect daily, how we could be better, to ourselves, to others, to Allah. And I guess, that's the Ramadan spirit we should look for.

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Thank you for reading dears, may Allah guide you and us all, and next time again,

Aisha