Relieved

Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how's your weekend going?

I planned yesterday evening a walk for today, but the weather was looking so grey I decided to stay today just home. I treat my anxiety with a happy pill, prescribed one, and after few cups of morning coffee I changed to my regular green tea, so I have something to sip while I write. 

...

I'm feeling optimistic. I want to thank all of you who made du'aa for me, it helped, alhamdulillah. A prayer never goes to waste. I feel a lot more grounded and stable. Yesterday I even wore my new abaya to go do groceries, and it felt so good. Little steps. 

I've been trying to think about the connection with the hijamah and my mood. I was expecting to feel better overall afterwards, but even though physically I feel light, my mood has been so low and anxious, and I've had very dark thoughts. It might be that these two aren't connected, but also I thought maybe after cleaning the physical heart from toxins, the spiritual toxins started to come out too and are taking their time to get out of my system. Does anyone have similar experiences?

So it was a setback, I have been feeling a bit guilty that I've just been purified and then I don't take the best care of myself now afterwards. But if I were my friend, I'd tell myself to be merciful towards myself, and sometimes, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 

And there's no cleaning without the dirt. 

...

Still positive, hehe, no spiraling to despair. It's good to reflect on our thoughts and feelings. Living with a psychiatric illness has taught me a lot about introspection and monitoring myself. Regulating too. That has helped me to work on myself, as I've luckily always been a person who believes in personal growth and it's importance. And of course as a muslim we are encouraged to do so too. 

And I guess it's all connected in the end. The inward and the outward, all together. Like if there's no cleanse without the dirt, and there must be a wound to be able to heal. Night and day, hardship and ease. And sometimes, when we see the little results, every ache makes so much more sense. 

...

But to the lighter subjects, I found a great hair oil, must share it with you :) Revuele Argan oil hair booster. It's cruelty free, made in EU, has only few ingredients and is affordable (price was 5,90€ in our local supermarket). I have tried it once and I'm convinced. Makes my dry hair soft and shiny. I don't need any hair mask or conditioner, I just wash my hair with a shampoo bar, and add few drops of the oil to my towel dried hair. Doesn't look oily at all. 10/10 :) 

...

I see the sun tries to come out, but I'll stay home. I want to just have a break from everything, we have our dinners planned so there's not much to cook. I'll try to minimize my social media scrolling, so I'll continue reading an interesting book I got from library the other day, in sha Allah. 

I hope you all will have a relaxing weekend, however it looks like to you :) Thnx for reading and remember you're welcome any time,

Aisha