Seasoning and wondering

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears. How are u doing?

I couldn't stay away from writing. Lol, that just can't do. I was thinking to write a poem or even start a new novel, but I can't do either before I have checked upon you guys.

Those who know, I started to write a superhero story some years ago, and I got good feedback from my friends. I have continued it since, but it's too well connected to my past life.. u know, with all the trips and love to Jamaica which is still a little bit of a sore spot. Not much, maybe it only left a scar. Anyways, life goes on and those years have passed. It starts to be time for a new novel. I can feel it starting inside me. Gotta love the creative process. :) I can really feel it, tingling in my fingers waiting to come out. I don't know anything about it yet though, but I know that when it's ready to be written, it will write itself. I think that's how Allah swt works on us. Our blessings and talents come out so naturally and easy. But yeah, a process.

...

Maybe I will never get rid of some my memories. And I don't need to. But it helps that they have become memories instead of the reality now. My ex did text me this morning (or last night, due to the time difference) and I just calmly wished a good life for him and blocked him. So times have really changed and so am I. It's ironic that it was him who said to me that it's great how I haven't changed as a person after having so many struggles in life, and now, it was actually the break up from him that worked as a catalyst for me to once again change and grow. 

The last ex I don't even need to mention really. Just a mistake. And if you wonder why to say so disrespectfully, it's because he didn't respect me or my boundaries at all. 

I think I have been married too many times but I have always started with good intentions. I've been pondering is love my enemy or my friend. I guess it comes from within and not everyone are ready to cherish such thing. And even though it's a power in us that flows freely and doesn't have limits, we need to keep it to ourselves and only share it with people who share the same with us. It starts with giving, always.

...

The best thing in my blog is that I have a platform where I can write basically freely about anything. It's not restricted in a form of poetry, song or a book. I can change the subject anytime. I can tell what I want to tell, and no longer feel also obligated to explain myself or the choices I do.

I was thinking about the issue I wrote about last time, seeing people kinda coming after some drama and popcorns. But maybe I was wrong. Not everybody wants to be so open like me. Some readers might be drama hunters or vultures, but I don't wanna risk the possible peer support never reaching other readers.. so if you want to eat your brother's or sister's rotten flesh, do that (if you are not a muslim, look it up). But if you are here to find a friend, you are in the right place. <3 I love you all, my dear readers. It will be okay. Always moving forward.

...

Had a cup of coffee to stay up until Fajr, in sha Allah. Someone has made du'aa for me, because praying feels so easy. Alhamdulillah. I have almost clear mind when I pray, and I can focus on it as a duty and not a burden. It feels good to reborn. This week and last week I have been so so tired, and now my energy seems to come back, alhamdulillah again. One have to fall to get up again, that's just how it goes. It's good feeling, to be a muslim. I recommend it strongly ;)

It feels good too that the season will be changing soon. This has been a different kind of year again and I have a feeling that the rest of the year will be the part where we can pick the fruits now sown. And I just love fall. :)

Rest of the evening I will spend maybe watching another movie, and waiting for one call, in sha Allah. I hope you are doing well, and if you're not, just hold on <3 let me hear about your day in the comments below :)

So, until next time again,

Aisha