Downhill for the better

-

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :) how's your day going?


I woke up early and also slept late, yes that's possible lol, and I have just done some chores and went for a walk in the forest. I feel better now, the walk did wonders and I already have more positive perspective. 


...


When others go to work, I can spend easily that 9 to 5 stressing, worrying and being anxious.. not every day, but just saying, I do have an illness. It's a strange thing though. For some, they claim not to see it, and for some, it pushes them away. Well, alhamdulillah for both outcomes.. but I have been wondering how many of my close circle people are actually accepting me as I am. Or am I pouring from myself too much on them.

I know it sounds harsh. But the fact is that a mental illness will affect on the person obviously, and the people around them. And it's not for everybody. Not everybody can understand how to deal with it. I have had to learn it by myself, and I'm still on that learning journey.. how to accept myself and my flaws, how to separate the illness from myself, my personality and character, and how to tackle the symptoms I suffer daily. There is no course or class to this, basically you have to just find the way yourself. And what comes to the close circle, the same applies, even though there is some peer support available from time to time. So I do understand people might struggle with being compassionate when it can be overwhelming too. But just know that this is not my choice, and I wish no harm to anyone honestly. 

And sure there is the other side too, the one where everything seems normal and ok, easy peesy lemon squeezy. Some might even take you as an imposter, I have had to face that too. "You are fine, you don't need medication", for example. I've even had one "hey the hospital didn't even take you in, you're just acting out".. talking about resources but hey, just try to be fine! 

Had my share of patronizing too, and that doesn't look good on anyone. 

The truth is, whatever your situation is, you can't please people. And another fact is that we all need to keep our boundaries and take good care of ourselves. Best advice is don't assume, this is a lesson I'm learning too. It's better not to assume anything and be open minded. A hug might also help, if you are huggable. 


...


Hmm. I've decided I will walk down from the mountain now. Maybe could glide with a sleigh too, hhh. As I have talked about being on the mountain, I haven't meant to be above anyone. Just very a literal metaphor (can it be) that I have been away from the regular day to day life. But I guess it's my time now to come back and try to blend in the society again. I'm more open now again and learnt something along the way. 


Take care,


Aisha

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Good to see you

-
 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how are you doing? It's the endless promising that I will write more often.. I don't know why it is like this. But I'm really happy to see that you, dear readers, come back even though my lack of consistency. I can only promise to try to be better ;) I have been a little sick and even now I'm having some migraine symptoms. I've been in flu and had sore throat. Usually I'm physically healthy so this has stressed me out a bit. But alhamdulillah, getting better just in time for Ramadan. :) ... So yes. I have some news.. I got married ♡♡ I'm happy and it feels easy. We are still a bit strangers, we got married fast, so it's a bit of a learning process still. My husband is very sweet and takes care of me. It's the small things, he helps at home, always brings something when he comes (we are not living together yet), and gives compliments and intimacy. Alhamdulillah. Everyone have their misdeeds and m...
Read more »

Hello hello!

-
 Assalamu aleikum everyone! 😊❤ How are you doing? It feels great to start over. For those who don't know, I used to write a blog with the same title, "Cup of tea with Aisha", for around five years until I decided to demolish the whole thing. 😌 And it felt good. It was one part of my journey, finding myself and healing, and also about all the stumbling along the way. But now that part, is a part of the past. I'm still on that same journey, but on another level - a lot has happened and changed. So this is it, same me but maybe a different perspective.. I hope that with sharing my thoughts and insights, you may find yourself not feeling alone with yours. ❤ in sha Allah. ... In my profile, I tell I write about daily life, food, beauty, travel, islam, mental health and relationships. So, for an introduction, here's a brief 411 of these subjects in my life.. Daily life Right now, my daily life is very simple. In Finland everyone starts by asking about work or school, ...
Read more »

Night time thoughts

-
 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. How are you? I am stressing about some personal issues, so can't sleep. So, I'm making a cup of coffee, planning to stay up all night. And go market in the morning. I have the luxury to take a nap later, so staying up tonight is not a problem. This happens for me sometimes, I just have to stay awake all night. Night is good time for writing, as I feel a bit more creative. The vibe is different and the stimulation of outside world has shut down. ... What would I write then? I want to write about Palestine, I want to write about Sudan, Congo.. Afghanistan. Kashmir, Uighur muslims, Rohingya sisters and brothers.. Yemen, Syria. And more, that I know or don't, yet. The world is burning because of Western democracy, which means white supremacy and colonization. Certain countries supporting each other in this atrocity. Even Finland, a nordic, "real democracy", the "happiest country in the world", is delivering gun...
Read more »