Cup of tea with Aisha

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how are you doing? Today was not my day, not at all but alhamdulillah it became better. You know these days.. X-files. I just leave now all that behind, or I have already. And wait patiently my iddah  to be over. Everything happens for a reason always, and I can see now what lead me to these situations I have been in this year. ... I went for a walk in the forest today to clear my thoughts. And I figured out this year is my growth year. It's good, alhamdulillah, maybe I have been going round and round following my own footsteps for past couple years and really haven't focused on myself. This is something self care routines and hygge and all the  toxic positivity  niceness can't help. It has been raw, it has been hurtful, to identify what's really been going on. There's one thing that keeps popping up from time to time and it will always shatter me in pieces. And then there's my illness, struggle in love rel

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears :) how are u doing? .. And where are you? It looks like my readers are almost all gone suddenly. I hope you come back in sha Allah. But anyways, everything fine alhamdulillah. My friend is staying with me for a week and we have just basically laughed the whole time.. it's good to have company. And she brought me sunflowers! My favorite. She is now sleeping like a baby but I can't sleep, it's one of those nights.  ... Some kind of sunflower is blooming in me. I wonder what really happened to me this Spring and Summer.  It hasn't been the simplest one, that's for sure. I feel like past few years there has been so much happening, which has come from outside. Pandemic, wars.. but this year I feel like so many people have had bigger personal issues on top of that. But yeah.. I feel so happy. Generally I am happy always. As we say in Finnish "onnellinen" which maybe would translate better as afiyah . That you can feel happi

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears :) It's weekend! Jummah Mubarak :) Today I have been at home, organizing closets, throwing away little chips and chups I don't need, and also I have packed my bags because I go to see my family this weekend in sha Allah. I feel better and alhamdulillah this has been an easy day. ... I have very mixed feelings about everything and same time, I just am happy and content with what I have. I have so great friends! Ma sha Allah. May Allah swt bless them and multiply the blessings even more. I can get through this, in sha Allah. Of course I am disappointed and I do feel like a failure. My sister, who I haven't really spoken in years, thinks I always f up my life and doesn't want to hear from me.. and she is probably right I guess. Romantic relationships and love is what I wish to have in my life the most, and that's where I'm most tested.  Everyone wants to be loved, but who is ready to give love? I wish I'd find someone to l

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :) how's your week going? My period started so today I just take it easy.. I'm tired to clean the house or go out or do anything. But I'm alone so this mess doesn't bother anyone.. ... The issues were unsolved. So I got talaq yesterday.. alhamdulillah for everything. There were many things between us and I don't want to go into the details. But I wasn't his priority, let's put it like that. I loved him and I tried to make it work but the ultimatum was then the priority issue.  I want to be alone now. I'm on this sick leave so I will just take good care of myself now, because if I don't do it, no one can do it for me. I'm treating myself like I had flu or so.. lot of rest and enjoying the little things. Drinking lots of tea or coffee. Hanging out with my little tortoise friend. ... I still am happy. I feel peace of mind. I am happy with my life despite all. And I am happy with myself. I have kept my boundaries and

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh everyone :) how are u doing? Last couple of weeks have been kinda crazy, the crazy thing being me. The breakdown wasn't enough, it just continued and now I'm on sick leave for one month. But alhamdulillah, I'm gonna chill and paint and just take good care of myself. ... My husband has been so sweet today. We have issues now that need to be solved, in sha Allah things will settle down alright. He is staying with a friend, we take some time and then see again if the issues can be solved. We love each other and we are not arguing, just a little break. Today we went to the nearby forest to my secret place with the best view.. we hung out with some friends, then went for a drive. It makes such a difference when we really take time together and go explore places etc. It will freshen up the air and can make memories together. Don't stay home with your spouse for too long. We live in a one room apartment, my apartment, and it's