Cup of tea with Aisha

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh all :) taqabbal Allah minna wa'l minkum! We have reached Eid, once again, alhamdulillah. I don't want to say "finally", because as it always does, it came so early. But now we are here, on the finish line, and I hope we can all feel winners. It's not who did most or who didn't, we did our best at the moments and hopefully we can take some of the barakah with us to the next year.  ... Yesterday evening I didn't know where to go pray in the morning. My friend, who I was supposed to go together with, became ill and plans were changed. Then I was planning to go to a Finnish speaking mosque, which would have been kinda far, but then my well organized safe person, aka my dear husband came home and let me know that his community is organizing a prayer at a place nearby,  7 minute walk from our home. Ma sha Allah. I was really nervous to go because I didn't know anybody there, but it went fine. One nice lady came ...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh :) how was your weekend?  Everybody shh! Suttis is eating hay. He hardly lets us see it happen, because he prefers lettuce and cucumber, not to mention any fruits, and he wants us to feed him those. But he is really supposed to eat the dry hay as part of a healthy diet. So yes he is a good boy ❤ I'm happy for him. A tortoise is a nice pet but it's not the simplest one. They f.e. learn quickly to manipulate their hooman to give them exactly the treats they want to eat, so one has to be alert with their behaviors. Also now when I've had him almost a year, I see how his life consist of different types of cycles with different amount of energy, moodiness, rest and sleep. Now he's kinda taking it easy and waiting for Spring. He enjoys basking under the lamps he has and takes many naps a day. I just love him so much haha.. Our little dinosaur baby. ... This week was somewhat busy and went fast. I had the group, I also went to tak...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh dears :) how's your week started? Today I started to fast again finally. I had the group today too, and then I stopped by market to get few items we were missing. My mind is all over the place but alhamdulillah. Have to stay patient, that will help in sha Allah. ... I am not sure have I been able to do the most this Ramadan. But if I compare this to last year's, it's going 100 percent better, alhamdulillah. I feel like this year it's more about just the fasting itself. I know I know, before you tell me that it isn't so much about it, but everything else too, I know. I just feel like every year it's a different challenge, you know, and this year is about the physical side.  I make du'aas, I pray of course, I am having deep and meaningful talks to Allah. But also, my outward life had to have some changes too, so here I am, learning new, good habits and enjoying my sober life, alhamdulillah. One year ago I was in a...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh all :) how's your weekend going? We've had a nice day with hubby, alhamdulillah. In the morning I did some cleaning and then we went together for a walk and a flea market. I found one tunic for summer and a home dress. Then we came home and have been relaxing and watching a movie, and I cooked too. Tonight we will have tomato-meat-tuna-egg sauce with some boiled yam, sweet potato and plantain. Ma sha Allah. This is my happy bubble and happy to be here. ... I want to correct myself concerning the last post I made. I read it today and was surprised that I sounded so bitter? It was more about unnecessary guilt, but I want to say that of course forgiveness is the way and not waiting others to come and apologize. I clearly hadn't thought all the way through what I was writing, or how did I express myself. I tried to say that not everything is our fault. Sometimes it's a heavy burden to carry the blame on solely yourself, that...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears :) how are u doing? Alhamdulillah. I'm not fasting now for few days. I was quite disappointed but alhamdulillah for everything. Have to take this break as a little blessing, now I can be schedule free for few days. Always get up and try again. But before that, a pause. ... I was thinking today about guilt and shame. Those can be healthy feelings, which indicate we have done something wrong, either to others or we have wronged ourselves. But many times we carry those feelings with us in daily lives and as a burden. They can be so overpowering too. Guilt and/or shame can stop us for living the way we want to. Especially if you have made tawbah, and asked forgiveness for your sins, you should believe in that forgiveness Allah swt has promised us.  Sometimes it can be about the other person. I know personally it's so difficult for me to blame someone else that I rather just blame myself for the things others people have done to me. I know bla...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah all :) how are u? It's been now one week of fasting, alhamdulillah. Today I noticed I don't get so hungry in the daytime anymore. Fasting is the normal mode now. Today I just went to market and cleaned our home. I have been sleeping late, waking up at ten, but in sha Allah I'll try to wake up earlier again. I have just tried to be gentle on myself these first days. I don't have a lot of energy so I have to just go with that. But alhamdulillah, it's good to have small goals to achieve and waking up an hour earlier could be one in sha Allah. ... How has this week gone then? Well, I bought the things I wasn't gonna buy, in my last post. Oh my gosh. I had a little rough week, speaking of mental health or hormones or whatever, wasn't on my best mood. So I have a bit swollen eyes but finally a smile back on my face. (Swollen of crying, not anything else subhan Allah). And I got the things I realized I do need. No further comments.....

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears :) how has your week started? I had today the group I'm attending, the movement and relaxation one. I didn't go last week, didn't feel like it at all so I decided to pass. But it was good to go there today, it is definitely relaxing and I learn something new every time about my anxiety, and my body too. I noticed today that now when I have been going to the gym, my body is able to relax better. I don't get anxiety from moving, it feels natural and good. I didn't think I'd see results already, both the gym and the group, so alhamdulillah I am happy to get stronger. For those who wonder that who has to practice relaxing, well yeah I know it sounds silly but I guess mostly us who have struggled with mental health and trauma, have to learn some basic skills later in life. Alhamdulillah for these kind of groups that are accessible. ... One of the things I like about my husband is that he's into minimalism too. So, today was ...

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh all :) Third night of Ramadan, how's it going?   Evenings are peaceful. Alhamdulillah. I'm having some tea and candy. I am kinda on a diet, was before Ramadan too, but I let myself have a treat at the weekends.  (It's hard to write when a little dinosaur is trying to bite your toes..) Today I slept a bit more, I mean I woke up at 4 a.m. to make some porridge but then after breakfast went back to sleep, so I slept until 10 o'clock. Then went to market, made chicken soup for iftaar, and after that I went to gym. How easy it is to achieve things when not procrastinating.. Food is a distraction. A necessity, sure, these days even a privilege. But I always see this at Ramadan time, I apparently spend so much time eating..? I just have so much more time while fasting. How about you, you see this too? ... So yes, these first days are relatively easy because I fasted those days I had to make up from last year just these few weeks e...