Done and happy

Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah. How's everything? 

 

The title is a click bait, I admit 👀 but I wanna share with you today, what I have been doing.

I often write about my personal stuff and what kinda things I'm struggling with. It's not all so difficult though. A lot has also changed. I am showing up now every day and I am much more motivated now to keep up with this daily challenge. First step is to battle against my own mind. 

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It all starts with going out. No matter what my mind wants to tell me, no matter how anxious I feel. 

I have made a new friend, alhamdulillah. And I meet all of my friends much more often and we walk, talk, eat and laugh. I started to go to an art and crafts group every week. I go for walks by myself. 

I have treated myself with new clothes and makeup. Becose past 5 years I've been saving every single penny, so I wanted to loose a little. And I'm still saving, that hasn't changed, and I will start working again soon again in sha Allah.

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All that I needed was just to start to show up. I started to feel more cosy living in my new apartment, and this area is now more familiar to me. I have more energy and I like to do different things daily.

Still I do have lonely time, and it's not fireworks every day. I'm still working on building patience and trusting in Allah's (swt) plan.

But after all, it's not bad at all. All the things my mind wants to tell me, or most of it - is not true. I have a right to exist and live my life as well as everyone else. It doesnt matter if I'm not at my best, or I go out alone. What matters is that I go out. Every. Day.

It comes easier. And I'm maybe finding myself again. Cos that has been lost and I want to find it back.

 

- Aisha