It's just a bump on the road

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 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh everyone. How's your weekend going? :)


I have a friend visiting me and we are almost done with all the moving and cleaning of the other sister's apartment, alhamdulillah. The days have been hot! Still I need to drink a hot coffee.. inside my apartment is +26,5C.. Alaska is trying his best.


...


So I have been trying dating, I have been trying to get back what I had before.. I've been patient, I have had despair, I have also been healing and being a better me. I don't need to run after anybody. Of course I would want to meet my future spouse, I've technically been alone for so long now.. But Allah swt has the best timing. What would be better than God Himself deciding your fate? I have made also duaa, to put my own effort in. It's not so easy to meet new people and find a right one. But I'm just gonna stay patient and wait for it to happen. 


I know now that if I marry again, I will be different than before, in sha Allah. The medication I'm on is playing a big part of it. I'm much more calmer and mature and even if I cry a little tear sometimes, I know I will manage and I don't feel sorry for myself. I have a lot of love to give, and I need to give it to someone who will appreciate it. In all my previous relationships I have been the one putting so much effort in it.. maybe it's time for someone to come into my life and make me feel wanted.


...


Healing and navigating in this dunya isn't easy, and sometimes it feels like it just gets more difficult.. but alhamdulillah for everything. Maybe I am not buried, but planted, to wait for the growth and sunshine. One thing I've gained in this, is that I really like myself. I do see my flaws very well too, but I like who I am. And it's not a crime to have big heart and love people. If they can't see it, it's their loss. Life goes on.






- Aisha



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