No worries

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 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. How are you doing today? 


I was supposed to hit the gym, but while I was walking I was so tired. My body needs rest so I only went to pick up two packages from the mall, came back home, and now I just hang out with my Alaska (fan) and of course you guys.. Have to take it easy now.


...


Outside is hot, I sit here in my living room all curtains closed. I'm thinking of making impossible possible again but it is not in my hands.. Allah swt knows best. I just go with the flow now.


I took half of the medicine today and I feel more normal, alhamdulillah. My doctor will call also in sha Allah so we can talk about it.. I'm happy they get to call because they have a lot of patients and not so much resources. I really appreciate nurses. Doctors too, but especially nurses. They do so much for us despite all they have to go through at their work.


...


So yeah, take it easy and go with the flow. No worries. Not at all.. I want to get rid of this anxiety. I want to have the full trust in Allah. I want to believe and in the end, everything will be fine. And I also want to accept myself and become, not a better version, but a 'more me'. I don't want to hold back, I want to be myself. The anxiety has been a prison for me for years.. it's not welcome anymore, if it ever was.

Of course it's not a thing to just decide. But I believe I have to put in all the work to get rid of it instead of letting it trouble me years ahead. I am sick and tired of being not able to live my life fully just because I feel so weak around new places and people. I have the same right to exist than everyone else.


...


There's ways to ease anxiety. For some, it might help to tingle your senses.. like cold water, hot shower, salmiakki candy/taste, smelling a good perfume, a round stone in your hand. But also it's important to just go to the situations and expose yourself to everything that gives you anxiety. In the summertime I love to wear sunglasses because it gives some kind of anonymity. And if possible, not overthink so much. If I need to go somewhere, I try to go quickly so I won't stay too long at home thinking all what if's.


...


It will be alright. <3







Thank you for reading,


Aisha

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