Tests

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 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah :) how are u doing?


Today was a regular day, I went to gym and market, talked with my mom and friends, spend the rest of the day watching Stranger Things and made some lentil soup. Alhamdulillah. This day has passed with a minor note but I am alright.


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I was thinking today about mental health. I have been struggling with my for past two decades.. kinda crazy right? No pun intended :) I am not looking for anyone to be sorry for me, I am not sorry for myself at all. People's paths are different and my mental health has been part of my tests in life, and who knows, a blessing too. Maybe I get some sins removed because of it. Maybe I am able to give peer support. And so on. :)


But of course two decades makes me stop and think a while. I don't know could my life have gone other way.. At this point I feel it's part of my life and I am not fighting against it. I just want to be able to fully live my life.

Sometimes it looks like staying home all days every day, but I am happy for all of the progress too. I feel better, alhamdulillah. My life is easy right now, what comes to my every day life.




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Other test I am currently having, and why I feel blue is the dating, spouse searching, baby fever, and disappointment in these. Today I told one my friend that I have two paths to walk on. The first one is walking bravely, showing up every day and trusting in Allah's plan. Including, hoping to meet my future spouse and still be able to get children.

The second path right beside the first one is, walking bravely alone, possibly end up childless, staying strong and, trusting in Allah's plan. That's how I go forward. Trust in His plan in both cases.

I am living in this world for a reason, or many reasons, and Allah has written a destiny for every one of us. So my life isn't going wrong, or I don't miss out, or I don't have to look back in regret because The Best of planners has His plans for me. Everything is going exactly the way it should.


And I make duaa.




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So yes, a bit of tawakkul, trust in Allah, goes a long way. I hope you all have a lovely weekend, have good time :)



Aisha 

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