Going on

 Assalamu aleikum again dears :) how are you today?

I have woken up at 3.35, made some porridge for us with my favorite toppings: butter, strawberry jam and slices of banana. Alhamdulillah. I'm still not fasting due to the antibiotics so I try to make the most of it. Cooking and cleaning, making laundry etc. can be ibaadah with a right intention. I think it's nice to wake up with my spouse and we have a small moment together before he goes to work. I want to take good care of him, and even though he helps at home and can make his own breakfast, I want to do it for him. It's an act of gratitude, he loves me so I want him to really feel I love him too.

Wow, that went deep quickly :) I feel almost as I would have been up all night so it always affects the way I write.

I actually wanted to start by saying, Hong Kong, Singapore, Bangladesh, I see you :)) These are new countries I've spotted in the statistics. Thank you for reading, and thank you for everyone else too. I have readers in Finland but mostly it's abroad. It still makes me smile how I write here in my home, sitting on the bed and telling about my life and then people read and vibe around the world, ma sha Allah. I appreciate :)

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I love these early mornings, as much as I love sleeping til noon. It's 8.30 am and I've already changed the sheets and washed laundry and dishes. I will still clean more and I need to go market and cook later. Other than that, I have time to just take it easy and reflect. I have done that a lot lately and I think it's very welcomed to have a better insight. I think myself as a muslim, as a person, as a spouse. I take a lot of time to settle into situations, and my feelings also take time to fully develop. I tend to be fast and me and husband have been joking how I am so often in a rush. But I am actually quite slow what comes to emotions. 

I think it's because I have always been a deep sea creature, my feelings run deep and I prefer real talks and confluences over small talk and shallow discussions.. of course it's not 100% of the time. The same goes with patience. I frustrate easily but same time I can be very patient about other issues. Alhamdulillah. Every coin has two sides.

 

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This Ramadan has it's on story once again. I feel like this Ramadan is lot about struggle, meaning different things for different people. One of my own struggles is to forget past. It's not directly linked to Ramadan time, but something I've also pondered and what could be better time to heal than this blessed month. I also see that other's struggle too. Not to forget Gaza and all the other genocides and horrible situations going on. 

Healing isn't easy. It's not candles and incense and spiritual growth. Or it can be, partly, but actual healing doesn't necessarily look pretty. It brings out the ugly truths about us and our environment and it's hard, but it's a vital step to take to be able to get into a better place. I know my secrets, and Allah swt knows them. I am so flawed and a sinner. 

But the main thing which I always keep as a guideline, is to move forward. Always, always always always have to keep going. We have a saying in Finnish, "ei saa jäädä tuleen makaamaan" which means you can't stay and lie in fire. You must save yourself because no one else will do it for you. Of course the salvation comes from Allah swt, but He has given us the freedom of choice and we need to choose wisely. Get up. Try and try again, until you don't need to try, you will be doing it.

Even now in Ramadan, do small good deeds. Give sadaqah, no matter the amount. Read Qur'an, even one letter you get 10 rewards at least. Pray, make du'aa. Do dhikr. Remember Allah swt. Fix your intentions. If you feel like you are lost and can't do nothing, say la ilaha illallah. There's always some strength to do at least something, in sha Allah.

Always aim high. I say this as a reminder to myself too. I've kinda gotten too comfortable so I am not really challenging myself. Too much comfort isn't good also. If you have it all, think how much you can share from it.

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Still I can't post pictures, sorry about that. Sometimes it works and sometimes not, right now I can't do nothing about it but in sha Allah when it fixes I will put up photos I've been taking lately.

I hope you will have a good day :) a little preaching but it's good to get a good kick on the butt and start working. I write this with all love, no worries. 

So until next time,

Aisha