Self care needed

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 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah everyone :) how have u been?


I haven't had the best day, I'm a bit overwhelmed about everything. The stress from the moving kicks in now, PMS and everything.. but alhamdulillah. It's time to do some self care and may Allah ease the stress, ameen. 


...


I talked about this with my nurse, this overwhelm has been cooking up since few days before the move. It's normal that the symptoms kinda flare up due to stressful situation. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy to live here and I'm so pleased about the apartment and overall everything is going fine. But stress is my enemy, can't help it. Also I start to have PMS symptoms so I just feel like I don't have energy for all of this. That's why I decided to stay home today. There's a yard sale, or like the whole neighborhood has a yard sale on Sundays, but I just couldn't go.. I feel rather miserable and I'm not ready to go to a crowd.

I would describe myself as an open person, but I am very shy. I have had always the experience that I don't fit in, and even these years I am now, it still stings me. It's not good to isolate, but sometimes I just have to. In sha Allah one day I feel like I belong. Until that, home is my safe space.

So yeah, not the best day and had a little cry already but alhamdulillah. Husband is sweet and understands, and that alone does a lot. ♡




...


What do I do then on days like this? Well, if there's a possibility to stay home, I do that. I prioritize to feel better and forget about being productive or having to accomplish something. So far I've

- cried and talked about my feelings

- went to shower

- put on comfortable clothes

- put on make up

- ate extra sandwiches

- made some tea

- write my thoughts 

:)


I do feel a bit better. This 'fight' between people and me is something that doesn't go away overnight. I look forward to talk about it with my nurse. I have been processing this for a while and also it's common that before the breakthrough the thoughts might feel chaotic and worse for a moment. But I wanna solve this, little by little. It's good to have ways to cope and channel the energy somewhere. It's also difficult to feel insecure but it's also needed. When you are honest and vulnerable with yourself, you will be steps closer to be able to be your authentic self.


...


More tea. Maybe watch a movie or something. Ease and relax. Sometimes a walk is good but today is so heavy I can't really do anything else than stay home. This is how my illness looks like (too) - some days I feel so good and am able to do more and sometimes I just need time. 

Thank you for reading, dears. Until next time then,


Aisha 


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