Grateful of

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah dears. How have u been?

I've moved from my kitchen office to couch office, due to some laziness and blues. Not every day can be good, and it's still an average, peaceful day alhamdulillah. We have now rainy weather which is ok, I see some tree leaves changing color, sea and sky blending together to a grey mist which makes everything disappear, and birds have gone south. Our little ninja turtle has been sleeping already three weeks, maybe like the saying goes, you need to leave while you're at the top. Summer makes room for Autumn to sweep it away, like we sweep the fallen leaves into piles of memories of the warm season.

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So it screams tea and a chat :) Cozy time is here, with blankets, wool socks, warm drinks. The weather is still a bit too warm to wear all kinda Fall clothes, but soon it's time in sha Allah. I've been going through the New York Fashion Week shows from Vogue's app, tucking myself in, in this dream world, and spent a major amount of my time laying at the sofa. :) But I have been good this month, only bought second hand a home dress and a nice cotton jacket for next Spring.. hehe. 

Other than that, I'm processing this time that I am in between, or not really anywhere. I have made myself a daily schedule, but it has been difficult to maintain. I want to wake up early in the morning, but my medication is very tiring. Ideally I would wake up early, go for a morning walk, run errands, pray, run errands again, take time for cooking and then take time for my hobbies in the evening. But right now I'm just very tired all the time. It's annoying, because the medicine is very good and working well. And even though I've tried to push through the days, I haven't yet find the right kind of motivation to keep me going. In sha Allah it will come. Next week I will start in the group, that also brings some extra to my weekly routine.

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It's unfortunately so true, that often we see the true value of things when we lose it. Before that happens, I do want to cherish what I have. I'm learning how to express myself better, and control my feelings better. I have been always very free spirited despite a ton of anxiety, I am expressive and with loved ones I am social and outgoing. But the minus part in that is that also, I'm not good what comes to arguing. I've become better, but still I have things to learn. I'm happy though I've made progress. Here's some principles which help to discuss problems in a safe manner:

- zero tolerance of name calling etc

- really listening to each other

- accepting silent moments and taking it as a time to calm down

- agreeing to disagree

- loving and respecting each other even when arguing

And one advice I like to give for myself and others: there's many ways to do things. Your way is not the only right way. I repeat: there's many ways to do things. We all are unique, that's how we are created, and everyone has the right to be how they are, even if personalities clash sometimes. Becoming a better person is a great goal in life and as a muslim, but the change is everyone's own to make. Also, other people are not our extensions. They are their own, beautiful and often tender souls. Common good should be the goal, not for one individual to win an argument. 

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My new glasses have turned to blue glasses.. or lenses, how do you say it. Anyways. I am grateful of my days and struggles. Alhamdulillah. Truly, not every day can be a happy one. 

Take care dears, until next time, 

Aisha