Again and again, again

 Assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah 🌈

Hmm.. how many times in my life I have been 'in the middle', waiting for the next step? I have probably been in this situation for past four years, more or less. 

And middle, or waiting, is not a bad thing. It feels like it.. but it could be also time for preparing and dreaming. Right now I am in Finland again, living at my friend's place, no job no income. Yet. And part of me wants to panic about getting an apartment, social security and a steady life, with my husband, living together, finally.

And the rest of me is thinking that day by day, I can put effort in all of that, and then try to take it easy, recover from stress-related almost-psychosis, do lovely workouts with my dear friend, and trust that love will carry us to our future. By the will of Allah, subhana wa ta'ala.

...

Otherwise there is not much. Medication is doing it's tricks, so there's not so many ideas or energy in my dear brain. I have tried to put together the pieces, what happened and why. I still don't know. Probably I was too much by myself and the pressure grew too big for me to handle. 

Still, life is life and life is still good, whatever it might bring. Experiences give more experience. If I'd go back now, I probably could handle my days much better. It was really different this time - to look at the life in Jamaica how it actually is, instead of just visiting. Who knows, maybe one day I'm able to stay there. If not - Finland is waiting here, alhamdulillah. 

With snow and storm..?

...

I hope, dear readers, that you still hold on and come back, like many have. These times have been very challenging for me, and keeping up with the blog is also a bit challenging. I might not be able to give good advice or interesting content.. drama on the other hand seems to keep me company 😨

But if I'd put past weeks to few points, my list would look something like this:

- what happens, happens, and Allah swt knows best what is beneficial for us

- love is crazy sometimes, and if we get crazy we definetly need love

- nature is wonderful example of something constantly changing and steady at the same time, and gives a good meditation and calmness. Even through the window 😘

- sabr and shukr. And salah!

...

See you again next time,

Aisha