Happiest?

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 Assalamu aleikum everyone 😊❤


Finland has been ranked twice (?) The Happiest Country of the World. Wow.. this country, where we probably complain the most? 😄 

Is that the key to happiness, complaining? It just might be.


...


I've been pondering about relationships. I think we all wish to be happy with our spouses. But why so often a couple ends up arguing, and the spark fades through time?

Complaining brings quickly a negative touch to relationships. It could also be an important step to change. Why complain if everything is fine? That is true but.. isn't it better to notice problems so there could be development? 

Communication is the key too. But when one is negative and other positive, the energy between them creates more chaos that reconciliation.


...


How to have a happy relationship then?

Internet provides multiple advices, lists and no-no's, and it seems a same song over and over. You know, the things we know we are supposed to do but maybe don't feel energy for.

Personally during these phases I just do what I can, and hope it will pass. For example,

- I make du'aa, repeatedly

- I check myself and try to be true to myself but also be ready to compromise

- I give some time for my SO and in the meantime I focus on self care, talk to my friends, eat well, sleep well, etc.

And when we are ready to talk, I try not to argue or blame. It is possible to still be patient and loving, and defend my own feelings.


...


Of course people can be harsh. I am a horrible person (😑) due to my fast and furious temper. And in my marriage, I am not the only one who can be stubborn. No one is perfect, and it's normal to feel, good or "bad" feelings. But when thinking of greater good and turning to Allah swt, it is easier to find a more gentler side from within. 


Hmm.. yes, a little time out. Have to be a referee. And try not to get red card 😨

I wonder if that ever happens to referees though? 😄 Sounds like it could happen only to me..


...


Negative and positive... what about everything. Could it be ok to be a whole person, with a whole life, and not just forced to be one thing in a little box. I dont want to live in a casket, not at all. Rather be free, and also remembering our Prophet Muhammad's (saws) advice: Do not be angry, do not be angry.



- Aisha

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